These past few weeks have been filled with a ton of Anxiety for me. I'm not sure what spurred it, but it kinda spiraled out of control last week, where I finally realized it was time for me to buck up and deal with things.
I'm that girl who always had a handle on everything. In every sense of the word, my life was always about completing tasks, moving onto the next thing... always bigger and better in every sense of the word. The past 7 years have been a whirlwind ... and now have calmly settled into a rut that I am completely uncomfortable with.
without delving into a synopsis of life taking off over the past 10 years... I've come to realize that at this point of my life, the very present, I am standing where I wished I could always be. A wife with a loving husband, 2 beautiful kids, a career and a life to be proud of. Sure, I am constantly juggling things, constantly trying to keep it altogether... But I am standing at the edge of all I ever wanted to achieve in life and its scary!! Its been move after move, job change,kiddos, health issues, finances, stress, STRESS, STRESS. and now, the storm has settled and I dont know what comes next!!
Ive learned Ive been replacing the stress with new stress and not ever really closing up on the initial factor. Ive let worry consume me, which has taken a toll on me physically and emotionally. I've dropped every extra extra-curricular activity to accommodate for our life here in TX, including any free time or splurge on myself. While I'm happy to trade in my Nordstrom shopping spree's for Carter's Outlet, I found myself spiraling rapidly down to not really knowing who I was anymore.
Yes. 100% I am Colton and Ryley's mother. That supersedes everything in my opinion. I can't stand it when mom's say " oh I've lost my identity" pretty much because I'm in my mid 30's and I don't believe we really "find"ourselves til now. Yes, gone are the days of pulling all nighters only to party all weekend long. Gone are the days where I could work double shifts and overnights and walk away with a mad bankroll too. I like to think of it as a priority shift. I'd take many a sleepless holding my babies tight, over coming home to an empty house dreaming of the day I could be called mom.
Thing is though... I finally admit that I need time for me in order to be 100% effective. My kids are now at an age where its "time" to get back on track and be KELLY again. My husband and I have been waiting for this day for a while and as hard as it is to say they are growing up, we are very so excited to have time for "us" again. (*note to all mom's of one and heading for 2... enjoy the time you have alone with your 1st now... because once the new baby is out of the infant seat... it is hard to get anywhere!!)
My point is, I've finally found the road I need to take next in order to keep from becoming unglued. In order for me to be Nurse by day, mom by night and still perform miracles and magic... I have made peace with the fact that what I think makes me happy, wont actually be effective unless I AM HAPPY. I need a creative outlet, a physical one too. I need time to myself after saving the world all day. I need time with God too. Im putting it to rest that needs equate to selfishness, and forging on in 2011 NEEDING things so I can be healthy for my Husband and for my family...
Im telling you-- mark my words... this is gonna be the best year yet!!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
MOMpetition Strikes again....
MOMpetition strikes again…
There is probably going to be an entire section devoted to MOMpetition and all the quirks that go with it, so I am warning you now I will make fun of it, but quite frankly, some ideas are really good, so I might try it too.
So, here’s the first “fad” of the new decade…brought to you by mom’s everywhere….
PROJECT 365 ; Project 52 ; pretty much anything having to do with documenting your life through pictures.
So, yes…
I’m blogging again.
I’ve got a tumblr account for project 365 ( nydctx.tumblr.com)
and yes.. I will be posting one pic a week for the next 52 just like all the other MOM’s I’ve been sweatin’ – xoxo
SO, without any extra fluff… I give you my FIRST pic
Now before anyone thinks ” why not a beautiful picture of her gorgeous face??” I think this is pretty honest and speaks volumes of the Journey I’m about to embark on for 2011…
For daily fun photos visit my tumblr! nydctx.tumblr.com!
So, here’s the first “fad” of the new decade…brought to you by mom’s everywhere….
PROJECT 365 ; Project 52 ; pretty much anything having to do with documenting your life through pictures.
So, yes…
I’m blogging again.
I’ve got a tumblr account for project 365 ( nydctx.tumblr.com)
and yes.. I will be posting one pic a week for the next 52 just like all the other MOM’s I’ve been sweatin’ – xoxo
SO, without any extra fluff… I give you my FIRST pic
Here Goes Nothin'
For daily fun photos visit my tumblr! nydctx.tumblr.com!
WELCOMING 2011
Welcoming 2011
I was so glad to see 2010 go. Not because we had a bad year, but just because I was really looking forward to a “new” year to start fresh, make some new changes, and ultimately start living out loud again.
Most of my friends always knew me as the partygirl… always up for being out and about, running here and there, never having enough time, and always being able to cram what I needed into 24 hours.
I’m not so sure that girl still exists!!
Whether it was actually leaving my 20′s behind, having 2 kids, or just moving westbound and down… I changed into a woman who became more of a home-body, rather heading out. My go go go got up and went.
Dont get me wrong I wouldn’t change a second of it! I’ve got a wonderfully amazing husband, 2 of the sweetest little peas, a big ol hound of a dog. I’ve got a great job, wonderful family and friends who support us, 2 great cars, and lots of filler stuff to make me happy… so what went missing?
2011 I think is going to be one heck of a soul-searching year for me. Maybe it should have been 2010, or 2009… but right now I feel it. I feel its time for me, to change in many aspects…spiritually, physically, emotionally, and most importan a behavioral shift.
I’ve got a feeling its gonna be a fabulous ride
Most of my friends always knew me as the partygirl… always up for being out and about, running here and there, never having enough time, and always being able to cram what I needed into 24 hours.
I’m not so sure that girl still exists!!
Whether it was actually leaving my 20′s behind, having 2 kids, or just moving westbound and down… I changed into a woman who became more of a home-body, rather heading out. My go go go got up and went.
Dont get me wrong I wouldn’t change a second of it! I’ve got a wonderfully amazing husband, 2 of the sweetest little peas, a big ol hound of a dog. I’ve got a great job, wonderful family and friends who support us, 2 great cars, and lots of filler stuff to make me happy… so what went missing?
2011 I think is going to be one heck of a soul-searching year for me. Maybe it should have been 2010, or 2009… but right now I feel it. I feel its time for me, to change in many aspects…spiritually, physically, emotionally, and most importan a behavioral shift.
I’ve got a feeling its gonna be a fabulous ride
Sweet Little Peas
Moving along.... here's the new blog! Switched to wordpress and DID NOT like it at all... so without further hold up... I've C&P'd and im back to blogspot
Sweet Little Peas
That’s my most favorite term of endearment for my 2 little ones.
I’ve come from a world of blogging – but decided to start a new one, to really just let go and write how I feel. I’ve never been very serious about blogging, particularly because I really don’t have very much to say. I blogged for 2 years in an attempt to keep up to speed my friends and family who are far away… Since Facebook has become the social media device I frequent, I barely blogged much anymore… until I realized that there is some things I’d like to share and I’d really like to say.
so here goes.
I’m a wife, a mom, a daughter. I am a best friend, a caregiver, and a go-to-gal. I offer my opinion when asked, but be prepared… if you ask I’m gonna give it to you straight. I’ll give it unsolicited on occasion, because I don’t fuzz up my friendships with what you WANT to hear… I tell you what you NEED to hear.
I have experience. I can juggle a schedule, work, maintain some sort of sanity, get the kids fed and to bed and we’re all pretty darn happy. I don’t have a magic 8-ball, I don’t have all the answers…but I also don’t expect to. I’m a realist. and we SURVIVE.
So, you aren’t going to find neat little blog posts here, but I will deliver some gems for you, because underneath all the hats I wear, I’m human and at the very least I can entertain you.
So stick with me. I will deliver. I can’t promise a pretty package… but I can sure as hell promise you’ll remember.
I’ve come from a world of blogging – but decided to start a new one, to really just let go and write how I feel. I’ve never been very serious about blogging, particularly because I really don’t have very much to say. I blogged for 2 years in an attempt to keep up to speed my friends and family who are far away… Since Facebook has become the social media device I frequent, I barely blogged much anymore… until I realized that there is some things I’d like to share and I’d really like to say.
so here goes.
I’m a wife, a mom, a daughter. I am a best friend, a caregiver, and a go-to-gal. I offer my opinion when asked, but be prepared… if you ask I’m gonna give it to you straight. I’ll give it unsolicited on occasion, because I don’t fuzz up my friendships with what you WANT to hear… I tell you what you NEED to hear.
I have experience. I can juggle a schedule, work, maintain some sort of sanity, get the kids fed and to bed and we’re all pretty darn happy. I don’t have a magic 8-ball, I don’t have all the answers…but I also don’t expect to. I’m a realist. and we SURVIVE.
So, you aren’t going to find neat little blog posts here, but I will deliver some gems for you, because underneath all the hats I wear, I’m human and at the very least I can entertain you.
So stick with me. I will deliver. I can’t promise a pretty package… but I can sure as hell promise you’ll remember.
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